If your enemies are starving, feed them some bread; if they are thirsty, give them water to drink. By doing this, you will heap burning coals on their heads, and the Lord will reward you. — Proverbs 25:21-22
But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who harass you. — Matthew 5:44
The old proverb sounds strange, but it does reveal a point. Even though we may show kindness to a tacky person, that kindness may conceal a tackiness that still resides in our hearts. “The more kindness I show, the more you’ll suffer. Ha!”
But Jesus’ command sort of undercuts this. We’re not just being kind to tacky people, but we’re sincerely praying for their welfare.
This makes you wonder: What does forgiveness really look like?
I thought of this while reading Eddie Jaku’s The Happiest Man on Earth. It’s an amazing book I’d highly recommend, recounting Eddie’s surviving the horrors of Auchwitz. He stated:
“Even though I have suffered, I want to prove to the Nazis that they were wrong. I want to show the people who hate that they are wrong. So I hate no one, not even Hitler. I do not forgive him. If I forgive, I am a traitor to the six million who died. There is no forgiveness.” (page 187)
Very thought-provoking. Maybe a common image of forgiving is, “Well, let’s let bygones be bygones.” But that would be abandoning the 6 million people who were killed by that monster.
So what would be forgiving that would feel more authentic?
Maybe:
- Forgiving isn’t endorsing or excusing someone.
- Forgiving means praying that the enemy will come to terms with what they’ve done and repent–the more pain they’ve inflicted, the more painful that repentance.
- Forgiving means praying that such repentance will lead the enemy to a new life.
- Forgiving means giving up letting the anger you have for another person control you.
What has been your experience with forgiving?
What would you add?