At about three Jesus cried out with a loud shout, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani,” which means, “My God, my God, why have you left me?”...Again Jesus cried out with a loud shout. Then he died. — Matthew 27:46, 50
I don’t know where it comes from, but there seems to be a prevailing attitude that doubting is bad. The corollary to that is the sense that we should perform a brain-ectomy and just accept the Bible, creeds, etc., on “faith.”
Such a thought is deeply flawed. It is why some folks use religion to justify beliefs and actions that are unhealthy and divisive.
Our relationship with God and Jesus is always a dynamic thing. It’s not a straight upward trajectory but takes dips and turns. It grows, evolves, develops as we gain life experiences and new learnings. Take a look back. Do you have the same faith as you did as a child? A single young adult? A middle-aged parent or business person? An older person with an AARP card?
The thing that’s constant throughout our lives is being honest with our thoughts and feelings as we relate to Jesus. That’s the catalyst for the Spirit to open our eyes to a broader world and a bigger Jesus. Ultimately, we discover that faith isn’t so much about right thinking as it is about right living, which is the fruit of seeking and obeying the Spirit moving in our midst.
Maybe this was Jesus’ last lesson he taught from the cross. His cry of doubt was ultimately answered by Easter morning. If we live long enough, we will encounter the inevitable downturn that will lead to our death. But if we are honest to God in that journey, we will be better able to see signs of Resurrection along the way.